September 28th , 2022
“I think Philadelphia is the best team in football right now.”
Welcome back KFFL,
The wait for the return of the most coveted, and hair covered rankings is over, as The Beard’s Week Three Rankings have finally arrived. Look no further for all the juicy details from the week, including the juggernaut rising in the grove of Westbrook, the injuries to elite running backs, and the second contender becoming clear. There seems to be some rumblings near the bottom of the table as well, with boudoir anxiety starting to show. It’s like this giant George-Costanza-shaped quicksand trap, waiting to ensnare the least lucky of KFFL ownership group. Don’t let the fear of camera’s and bright lights distract you from how your team stacks up this week. Read on gents, read on…
P.S. FantasyPros custom playoff percentages are now included for your viewing pleasure.
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Bad Mother Tucker |
Last Week 1 |
This Week 1 |
FantasyPros Playoffs: 87% |
**Sound the Undefeated Alarm**
Does anyone think they can catch this guy? The Bills lost to the Dolphins behind a total point output of 19, and Allen still stacks up 45.7 points. It’s just not aging well for my brother at this point - poor guy. Powell was the latest victim with front row seats to The Stack. Even sub-five point performances from 3 premium roster spots wasn’t enough to derail Dorian from continuing his unbeaten streak.
Oh you want a true 50/50 split on pre-game projections? Cruise on over to the Week 4 match between Diesel and Mitch. Woooo boy she’s going to be some early championship type sh*t.
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Najee By Nature |
Last Week 5 |
This Week 2 |
FantasyPros Playoffs: 86% |
The contender to this season’s juggernaut, the david to Dorian’s goliath, looks to be Craig. Some would argue this team is the real MVP, and maybe on their rankings article your dream can become reality - but not here friend. However, as the Eagles go, so does Craig’s suddenly dangerous squad. Hurts is the real deal and passes the initial eye test. Now once the league wide video rooms update their strategies to contain him, it’ll prove whether this is a special season or not. Let’s not sleep on Andrews, Najee, and Captain Kirk, beaming these guys to the next level with solid weekly floors.
A small irritation for CMC’s quad couldn’t be worse timed with Loudon looking for a bounce back from the early season doldrum at Whalen’s expense.
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The Duo |
Last Week 4 |
This Week 3 |
FantasyPros Playoffs: 76% |
The new additions Waller and Evans were expectedly not major contributors (suspension and matchup), however there were plenty of encouraging signs from the Duo. Kupp, Waddle, and London kept the good times rolling for the boys and there doesn’t seem to be a lack of fire in Mahomes' heart. Loudon did his best, but the coastal pairing raised their record to 2-1 and look primed to roll over the MASH squad. Does Jaylen ball out on TNF? Evans certainly should on SNF, but Cooper absolutely will on MNF. Cody better get his hurricane Duo emergency kit ready.
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Herbert’s Perverts |
Last Week 2 |
This Week 4 |
FantasyPros Playoffs: 60% |
Well, when you taste your first morsel of downside in this league, it comes brutally and with speed. Facing off against a previously lifeless Reynolds’ squad in Week 3 was probably not the expected spot for Mitch’s first loss. Once the dust settled however, it was undefeated no-more. The potential loss of Amen-Ra couldn’t come at a worse time, but Treylon and Devante both offer a short term solution. The 50/50 nature of this game’s projection lends some focus to just how close Mitch could be to taking down the top spot.
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Cheetah Code Re-activated |
Last Week 6 |
This Week 5 |
FantasyPros Playoffs: 71% |
Thirty Four. That’s the percentage of my team’s overall points that Lamar Jackson is responsible for. 1 of every three points my team has scored, have come from the Cheat Code being reactivated. It’s truly a blast this season for me, trying to field a competitive squad amongst the transition. Watching Breece Hall evolve, while leaning on my franchise 2019 MVP to do his thing, is the ultimate pleasure for an OG ownership on the rebuild. This week puts the extended honeymoon tour on pause as Powell is absolutely fired up for this one. He’s far from done this season, thank the lord for the return of Super Kamario.
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Austin 3:16 |
Last Week 3 |
This Week 6 |
FantasyPros Playoffs: 74% |
Is it a Fire Sale? Is it a Blockbuster? Is it an old retail store burning? No one but Yalms knows the secrets behind the sauce, but after the eye opening loss in Week 3, rumors abound on the potential shake up. This squad sports two of the swankiest RB’s available, and anyone looking to insta-retool would be hard pressed to find better. On the flip side, JV is up next and who is the real Valdez? Fried friend or fierce foe? Don’t blink in this one gents, the early fire sale market could depend on it.
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Corey Two Times |
Last Week 7 |
This Week 7 |
FantasyPros Playoffs: 41% |
The slide continues for the 2021 victor. This feels eerily similar to Hunger Games when they force the winners back into the games. Loudon isn’t in too bad of a spot, despite the record, as our friends at Fantasy Pros credit a 4/10 chance at making the postseason. The downside is the expectations couldn’t include two losses in the first three weeks after the parade. The upside is the players needed for the turn around are on the roster. Zeke isn’t the answer in any realm, and neither is Carter. Olave and Taylor both hold the keys to a surprise run, as we all hope for the league winner in our pocket, Loudon may have one.
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The Chase |
Last Week 8 |
This Week 8 |
FantasyPros Playoffs: 12% |
Rosey needs a QB. You heard it here first, Caron Wentz and Dak Prescott are not going to drive a championship season. Rosey knows this, but if you own a QB who isn’t a gremlin or a part time sous chef, hit this guy up. In other news, I took his lunch without much recourse last week, and if you see Montgomery’s handcuffs, it was a rough weekend. Oh the Dr. ordered a stomach spinner session? Welcome to your Week Four my Padawan learner.
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Koo Kicks Klan |
Last Week 11 |
This Week 9 |
FantasyPros Playoffs: 33% |
WOOOOOOOOOOW. Have you or anyone you know seen this JV since last season’s semi-finals? It was nuke town ten a key, and if you ask me, this is what makes JV’s squad nasty. They’ll rise up on you, just when you think it’s all but over, and they’ll pull that Shoalin Shadowboxing sh*t. Up from the 36 Chambers, aka the KFFL basement, and he ain’t nothin to f*ckl with, apparently.
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Tua Sexy |
Last Week 9 |
This Week 10 |
FantasyPros Playoffs: 30% |
My brother is down, but he is certainly not out. Alternating wins and losses seems to be the early pattern, and so the match with The Duo this week would appear to be time for the win. Cook’s cuff in Mattison leaves nothing to be desired, as he’ll be hard pressed to notice a difference. DJ Moore, Keenan Allen and Jahan Doston all need to step up to their expected levels or my brother’s season will quickly go off the rails. *Queue the Rocky theme*
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Make AmariCarr Great Again |
Last Week 12 |
This Week 11 |
FantasyPros Playoffs: 10% |
It is with great determination that Reynolds avoids the Costanza Shoot. I don’t blame him. The win last week is that much more impressive, and a win over Rosey in Week 4 would put some real space between the casting couch and the one-time Blockbuster manager. God I miss that popcorn.
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I Would Walker 500 Miles |
Last Week 10 |
This Week 12 |
FantasyPros Playoffs: 20% |
Powell will take no pleasure in counting his wins on no hands, but the guy has the fire of someone undefeated. Ownership groups around the league should take notice - the record is the past, the fire is the future. Or something along those lines. The bottom line here, after 11 other teams analyzed, if there’s a waiver to be made, Powell will always get it. This guy will leave you grasping at managerial straws. Once the success translates to the fantasy field, the league will be on notice.
Boys, don’t look now but the one third mark of the regular season is here (depending on how many fingers you have), and it brings with it slightly chilly evenings and a few calls for urgency. 0-4 and 1-3 both provide steep grades to climb to the post season. In closing, there is no time like the present to close that trade for fantasy greatness. The players you left on the opponents bench will never pop a champagne glass alongside you, win or lose, but it’s much cooler when you win. Until Next week….
Signed,
Andrew J. Wilson
The Commish’