The Beard's 2023 Week Three Power Rankings

September 26, 2023

“Whatever they wanted to do. It didn’t matter. Big play to the left, big play to the right, wide open guy here, wide open guy there…the fastest offense in football.” 

–  Chris Simms on the Dolphins offense scoring 70 points on Denver

Welcome back KFFL,

It's fair to say Week 3 was the most exciting week of football so far in this young season. I can't believe we had two teams in one match both clear 170 fantasy points, solidifying Powell's perch in the penthouse. There were also three matches including that one which were decided by razor thing margins, demonstrating how much parity this league currently boasts. I'm not happy with the loss, so I went out to blockbuster and did some retail therapy, buying the 5 picks for a 2022 third rounder. Let's see if the blockbuster fever is catching - rumour has it Jake's firesaling at 2-1...

With that, let's dive into the PR pool:

 Wow. That word doesn't come close to accurately describing what we're seeing from Powell so far this season. It continues to progress into a powerhouse, and rumour has it he's shopping for a league winner. The match was surprisingly close, but ultimately this roster has few holes if any. It'll take something catastrophic for Powell to miss the playoffs, as FP has him sitting quite comfortably at 97 times out of 100. Loudon and Powell faceoff in Week 4 with Powell holding a nasty 21 point edge in early calculations.

Reynolds smells blood in the water with the best of them and secures himself a potential RB1 with Pollard. Going all in at the right time is a key tactic I've personally used to secure two titles and it could be the only way to match Powell at this point. In what was toted as a battle of the heavy weights in Week 3, showed that Reynolds is in the top tier of the league, crushing Jake's soul like a beetle under a heel. Week 4 carries Reynolds into another tough matchup against Craig in a rebound battle for the latter.

Mitch looks dangerous and is only going to level up once Saquon returns. The roster is deep and can handle an injury or two and the QB looks savage. Herbert is potentially going to lead the league in passing, depending on what Mahomes and Tua end up doing. I'm certainly not looking forward to playing Mitch, and I can't see Rosey feeling any better about it in Week 4.

 Jake's injuries to his top 2 players have certainly showed, with what may have been a franchise low point output in Week 3. Jake's one of the most savvy GM's when it comes to player eval and trading so I'm not expecting him to sit idle, one way or the other. The team may be showing age and I'm not sure when Ekeler returns, but without the heavy weights at RB, the soft spots are showing in the roster - Spears, Shaheed, and Toney are all borderline even roster-able. We'll see how the loss motivates Yalms in Week 4 when he takes on yours truly - may the best Double Dragon win bro!

 Craig made the 2022 champ look like Obi Wan Kenobi battling Darth Vader - one swing of the blade and he vanished into robes and dust. Night Night Vanilla. On a serious note, Craig was said to be dangerous in last week's edition and he proved it. And to think, the Eagles stack is still in first gear. CMC, Deebo, Hurts, Brown and the option to turn to Jordan Love if needed, all provide the chops to secure consistent victory. It goes without saying, the team name needs a major overhaul, however if he continues winning, who tf am I to chirp. If he can contend with Reynolds, there will be a major climb next week.

 JV took a stumble in Week 3 against the adjacent franchise and honestly looked pedestrian. Henry may be washed, Devonta may be napping, Jaylen Warren is a backup, Rhomandre doesn't get goal line play, Atwell will be invisible in two weeks, and Mike Evans with Lamar can't win another title on their own. That may have been a harsh recap but the allure of previous seasons teams that seemingly over performed may be gone. You can't write of the biggest trash talker our league has ever witnessed, however it doesn't get any easier with Dorian's chise looking to break the bad luck start this week.

 Evan got a wake up call last week after taking the L against Mitchie. Wins in this league are harder than closing a bartender, and the squad needs some help. Mixon, Etienne, and Mahomes provide a great core, but to compete Evan will need to make a move. That's not to say he can't compete with the draft and hold approach (See Loudon with his pair of rings), but ultimately it's not the high percentage outcome. I'm not writing him off, but sending a piece of advice from the league's only 2 time B2B champion and four time victor. If my brother thinks he's the real deal, he'll need to go through Evan in Week 4. Don't forget your basement door code Codes. Just in case you know.

 Lookie what we have here. Noone thought the battle in Week 3 between Powell and Codes was going to be close, let alone a record breaking tilt. I must say, my brother does seem to be managing with an edge this season, unlike any he's portrayed to date. I would also say, three weeks does not a champion make. The acquisition of Pacheco certainly boosts his point output while taking nothing from his starting roster. Well done bro. He'll have his hands full with a former asset of his in Week 4, Pat Mahomes. Nostalgia better be kind.

 No Rosey, you're not fired. You just need to trade me for Burrow. Honestly though, I benched a warhead and didn't have nearly enough for the win, even it was only .06 fantasy points shy. He gets a bump in the rankings but clearly needs to continue the moves if he wants to contend with the heavy weights this year. Mitchie brings the pain this week. No pain, no gain Rosebud.

 Dorian put up a very solid output in Week 3 and got burned by the schedule. That was a bit of a league theme last week, proving the schedule algorithm to be on point. Josh Reynolds disappeared completely as did my podcast callout Van Aerostar Jefferson. I know his prowess well enough to absolutely never count him out of the fight, ever. This will be a test, but he's a champion forever and you don't come by those lightly as only a handful of human beings on planet earth can attest to. He'll get to hit JV in the proverbial mouth in Week 4 and it looks to be perfect timing based on recent output.

 Loudon got the much needed victory in Week 3 which was encouraging but still resembles a scarecrow with damp straw in a room full of toddlers grasping for his hat. In other words, he's got some work to do before he can climb the PR's. With that said, he's got some optimism with Cousin's leading the league at the position, albeit somewhat gruesomely and the core of assets - James Cook, Jerry Jeudy, Chris Olave and Kyle Pitts all are capable of top tier output and should they reach their ceilings, this won't be a team to dance with. Oh and JT could bring the massive lift later this season should he return.

 Well Dorian, here we are. Last place with a bullet. It comes down to not putting up enough points and not having currently enough assets. I've restocked the draft for 2024 and that should certainly scare you all. I'm not giving up and fully expect to make the playoffs, regardless of what FP says. This next week I pray Jake firesales just prior to our match. If anyone is looking to offload something, I'm all ears.

It'll be hard to match the insanity of last week, however I think with Rivalry week we've got some on hand chirps and in pocket trades to expect. I'm won't be surprised if we see another game of musical chairs next week.

Enjoy the week gents.

Signed, 

Andrew J. Wilson 

The Commish’